Fake ad I wrote for a made-up medicine: Protorvia

I’ve been a cell-phone gabber my whole life! I’m a chatterbox sort of girl. But Type 2 musclodesklegenerative disorder, brought on as a result of excessive cell phone use, can make it hard for chatterboxes like me to keep their routine going. That’s why I was excited when my doctor told me about Protorvia. Protorvia is the once-a-month pill that will keep me on my cell phone for a whole month!

Quieter, fast voice while showing distracting images: Do not take Protorvia if you have allergies to peanuts. Do not take Protorvia if you have risk factor for excessive sneezing, as Protorvia may affect your nose and esophagus. Do not take Protorvia if you take statins. Some common side effects of Protorvia are bloating of the stomach, hair loss, migraines, sleep-boxing with amnesia for the event, strep throat, typhoid, tooth loss, mental sluggishness, slowed blood flow, heart attack, and full body paralysis. Death has been reported. Do not drive, walk, or breathe until you are sure of how Protorvia may affect you. Call your doctor immediately if you experience any sudden loss of life.

See how Protorvia can make the one-month difference! Do what I did. Ask your doctor about Protorvia today.